Death, one of the scariest words a person could hear.
I am one who will or cannot deal with it. It’s something that just happens and we cannot change. I don’t understand why, I don’t understand how to get over the pain. I have lost loved ones and the pain in my heart always reminds me that they are gone. You sometimes can tell when someone’s times almost up, like my uncle for example is in the hospital struggling to keeps his heart beating. He has been on a transplant list for years but because of his weight he cannot get one. He has a pacemaker that is dying and to replace it, the surgery is likely to kill him. He knows he has to make the choice of either going for it or letting life go. He told me himself “I know when it’s going to end, I don’t have much longer my body is shutting down.” How do you prepare yourself for one’s death? Or how do you overcome the sadness, well you don’t there’s no way of hiding the pain and misery of ones dying. Especially when someone dies randomly where you can’t even think straight or try and fix things because it just happened. Like when I came in counter with almost my last breath but instead my best friend died instead. Simple day of riding bikes and we stop to cross the street as I tie my shoe and look up seeing the car take my friends life away so fast I just lost all emotions and it all turned into shock and screaming, but the screaming felt like no one could hear me. Having to go home with my friend’s blood on my shirt and jeans, I remember exactly what I was wearing too my light jeans with a purple v neck shirt. I can’t buy light jeans or purple v necks because it scares me and reminds me of that day. You get a new perspective on how death works. No one knows when nor how but we do know that it’s one of the most painful things in life. Seeing fear in one’s eyes knowing they are going to go soon or the last expression of accidental death. Nothing will change what happened or nothing can make the pain go away but in time things get easier memories will fade and soon your time will be up and someone will be crying and hurting for you. Live life as if today was your last because you only live once.
I am one who will or cannot deal with it. It’s something that just happens and we cannot change. I don’t understand why, I don’t understand how to get over the pain. I have lost loved ones and the pain in my heart always reminds me that they are gone. You sometimes can tell when someone’s times almost up, like my uncle for example is in the hospital struggling to keeps his heart beating. He has been on a transplant list for years but because of his weight he cannot get one. He has a pacemaker that is dying and to replace it, the surgery is likely to kill him. He knows he has to make the choice of either going for it or letting life go. He told me himself “I know when it’s going to end, I don’t have much longer my body is shutting down.” How do you prepare yourself for one’s death? Or how do you overcome the sadness, well you don’t there’s no way of hiding the pain and misery of ones dying. Especially when someone dies randomly where you can’t even think straight or try and fix things because it just happened. Like when I came in counter with almost my last breath but instead my best friend died instead. Simple day of riding bikes and we stop to cross the street as I tie my shoe and look up seeing the car take my friends life away so fast I just lost all emotions and it all turned into shock and screaming, but the screaming felt like no one could hear me. Having to go home with my friend’s blood on my shirt and jeans, I remember exactly what I was wearing too my light jeans with a purple v neck shirt. I can’t buy light jeans or purple v necks because it scares me and reminds me of that day. You get a new perspective on how death works. No one knows when nor how but we do know that it’s one of the most painful things in life. Seeing fear in one’s eyes knowing they are going to go soon or the last expression of accidental death. Nothing will change what happened or nothing can make the pain go away but in time things get easier memories will fade and soon your time will be up and someone will be crying and hurting for you. Live life as if today was your last because you only live once.
Oh Katie, this is so expressive. You put a lot of my own views into words.
ReplyDeleteTo die means to be finished on Earth. Don't cause your own death. Continue to live your life until God decides it is time to go to heaven to finish his work. You are still alive because God wants you alive! Remember that everyone! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not afraid to die im afraid of how I die
ReplyDelete